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Unfortunately, there isn't a magic loophole that will help you find other gay men in the real world if you're not willing to tell anyone you're gay. If you're only scared to come out and doing so would not result in extreme financial hardship or get you tossed out on the streets, you should just do it.

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You'll be happier in the long run. But let's break down this problem a little bit and see if there's anything that can be done.

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  • Bridgemen – Gay Men’s Community Group.
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You want to meet other gay guys but 1 not through the internet and 2 not anywhere deemed gay, because then someone might think you're gay. I know a straight woman who wants that—to have a relationship that evolves from a friendship—and she's failed to get it for over half a decade.

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She has a ton of straight single male friends. My point is, it's pretty hard to get that if you're straight, let alone gay.

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On top of that, you don't want anyone to find out your gay or go anywhere that might seem gay, so hopefully you're getting an idea of how unlikely this is and why you need to come out, lighten up, or let go of some of your criteria because you're essentially reducing the likelihood of success to zilch. So what can you do?

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You're probably going to have to use the internet in some way, like by going on a gay-friendly meetup such as those you'll find plenty of on http: You'll have to be around people who might seem gay to outsiders, so hopefully you're okay with that. Alternatively you could try to meet people at gay-friendly coffee shops or restaurants that are not necessarily gay-oriented. You're in San Francisco, so that's basically anywhere in the Castro or even the Mission.

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Finally, if you're incredibly selective about who you come out to, go meet some straight people who don't give a crap about your sexual orientation. Maybe one of them will introduce you to someone else who doesn't mind that you're still in the closet. Date and Time Wed, February 13, 8: Map and Directions View Map.

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Event Ended. View Details. Events you might like: Thu, Mar 14 8: FoodDrink Party. Share this event.

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Thu, Feb 28 8: Fri, Mar 8 8: Fri, Mar 1 8: Tue, Feb 19 8: Tue, Mar 12 8: Tue, Mar 26 8: Save This Event Log in or sign up for Eventbrite to save events you're interested in. Sign Up. So if you are new to the San Francisco gay scene or seeking new adventures, joining Bridgemen should definitely be on your list of options. If you love to read, then you should consider joining the Queer Theory Book Group meetup. With selections focusing on LGBT issues, this friendly group selects a different book every month and invites its members to share their perspectives freely. Are you a gay professional looking to network? Founded on September 19, , the group allows for its members to build relationships, whether it is over a bonfire on the beach, helping with LGBT nonprofits organizations, or celebrating during happy hour.

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  6. Striving to find queer-friendly activities from queer yoga to game nights, every event is a blast. Open to suggestions, this meetup respects its members and encourages members to create ideas for future events.